The Echo of Loss: Why Grief Can Return Years Later

It has been five years. Or ten. You have a job, a family, a life. You laugh, you travel, you are happy. Then, one Tuesday afternoon, you find an old ticket stub in a coat pocket, and you are sobbing on the floor as if the loss happened yesterday.

You might think, "What is wrong with me? I thought I was over this."

Nothing is wrong with you. This is called a STUG reaction: Sudden Temporary Upurge of Grief.

Why It Happens

Grief is not a straight line; it is a spiral. As we move through life, we encounter new milestones that we wish we could share with the person we lost.

• New Life Stages: Getting married, having a baby, or retiring can trigger grief because the person isn't there to share it.
• The "Forever" Reality: Sometimes, the sheer magnitude of "forever" hits us anew.

It Doesn't Mean You've Regressed

Feeling sad years later doesn't mean you have lost your progress. It doesn't mean you are depressed. It simply means you loved them. The grief is the shadow of that love.

How to Handle It

• Ride the Wave: Let yourself cry. It will pass.
• Don't Judge Yourself: Don't tell yourself you "shouldn't" be feeling this.
• Share It: Tell your partner or friend, "I'm having a hard day missing Mom."

Conclusion

Grief is a lifelong companion. It changes shape, it gets lighter, but it never fully disappears. And that is a testament to the impact the person had on your life.